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Protests

Sometimes you just have to go with your instincts about things, people, events. My instinct in this house is that for the most part I am on my own. (and it'll stay that way forever. No one cares about you so don't even hope for it) There is no one that will continuously be on my side for anything or everything so there is no point in relying on something that is so fleeting.

I wonder if it was my fault, if I drove everyone away somehow [if some behavior that I developed out of past trauma makes me push people away], if there is something wrong with me that make people decide that I'm not worth it. (No your NOT worth it!)

I always forget this though. I am forgiving and I don't like holding grudges, but I am sick of not having my side listened to and I am sick of being threatened. I have no means to support myself and little money to do so and yet they threatened to force me out of my home today. Yesterday also drove this point home. (Yeah everyone let's get a good laugh at the lazy, Fatty! Come on you know you want to!)

Well if I am worth nothing then I am going to prove it one way or another. I'm not going to talk to them anymore if my words are such a burden to them and if they can't listen to what I am saying beyond my actual words. I am not going to eat their food if I am so fat and disgusting to them. I'll only drink liquids [mostly water] so that I won't die from anything. (As if they'll care! They'll just get annoyed at your silence and pissy about you not eating! You! Won't! Last!)

This is the only way that I feel that I can take.

Yume.

Clouds

There are many things in life that you can do or say and wonder if you can change things for the better if you could do it again. Relationships seem to be a mixture of the good and the bad you get love and support (theoretically) from your partner but you also start to lose some of the depth that you once had in other relationships. Elysia wants her relationship to work out, but I don't want her focusing completely on that and losing her friends.

In the end nothing is certain. I thought I had something seriously wrong with me, but it wasn't as serious as I thought it was. I also always think I've gotten the job that I go in for an interview for only to find out that it isn't the case.

So Yume just wants to keep dreaming on and on.

(Yume is too gutless to admit that she's a waste of space and should just keel over and die!)

Yume.

P.S: Sorry for the short entry. Yume has been writing a lot recently which is time consuming and draining.

Things That get to you

This was from a place that I visited this summer with my family.

It speaks for itself.

Yume.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Oh Life is Bigger.....

To everyone that has been waiting for Dream-Chan to come back can be assured that from now on she is back. After all I can now access the App for LiveJournal wherever there is a wireless connection. Thus more motivation for Dream-Chan to actually write things down to remember later to laugh at after all is said and done.

Right now though I have taken a huge step towards improvement after the last two steps which was Graduation (Dream now has a degree. Shock! Amazement! Horror!!!!) and actually wanting to have a job and earn the almighty dollar! This is in not letting things go. Like this Blog. an unfortunately this also means friendships. I lost contact with my penpal Chavi for a while but the wonders of Facebook have allowed us to talk almost everyday and say silly things to each other (such as you're nonsense t-shirt creation conversation). But Elysia and I, thanks to the fact that I live now about a 40 minute drive away and the eternal job hunt + home stuff on my part and work and a fiancee (so surprising when I first heard of it, but I hope it goes well for her), have started to drift apart. I confronted her with this a few days ago and now Dream-Chan is unsure about what will happen. Will we still stay friends? I don't know. Will things change? I definitely think so at least on my part because I wont let this happen again.

Here's some exciting news!

This blog is now for Dream-Chan's other self. The abnormal creative self that will post things for fun and entertainment. This means more Pictures and more stories than ever before so both daily and multiple posts will become common. There will be another blog for Dream-Chan's normal unassuming identity. (you'll never be able to make the connection!).

I broke my old Laptop in a midnight incident involving YouTube, my iPod, a new song I just HAD to have, and a glass of water on my desk. My new Laptop is sooooo much bigger and it's easy to get my old faves from my CD's onto my iTunes thanks to it's CD drive. I have also since the last entry fallen in and out of love (Really Dream! Really! Stop Quoting Songs) with playing App games on my iPod. (It sucks how most of the ones we have need wireless to work. SHUN!!!!!!)

Dream-Chan is also in the midst of writing a big story that has taken over her mind for years. I tried to write it once, but lost it and looking back on it I can tell that it wouldn't have been any good. I am now re-writing the first few chapters from scratch (do you have a choice?!) and it looks better than ever!

My baby brother has had (twice! with the same Person!!!!!) had a live-in-girlfriend so now mum makes him pay rent. The girlfriend, who shall now be called Acacia here, is about the same age as my favorite cousin. (Is that considered cradle-robbing! Tisk Tisk brother dear. Off to jail [and Bubba] with you!)

That's about it for today.

Dream-Chan.

PS: For those wondering the comments that are in brackets and cut through Italics are the result of a new character called Nightmare (it's Night dammit!) who after assassinating the other personalities in my head is here to give out snark, sarcasim, commendation, and the occasional nice comment to throw me off track (I am not!!!).

PPS: I have decided to change my address instead of calling myself Dream-Chan I shall call myself Yume instead. It's simpler and means the same thing.

Image Quartet Story Index

This is my story index for my newest set of series called the Image Quartet. This set of story's stars four generations of a family and their interactions with both each other and other individuals that spans both years and generations. The main series is the second generation set Snapshots with all other series being either the single prequel or the two sequels to that series. All of the series plots begin at the beginning of the most influential times of the main characters lives and ends when that time ends. All one-shots or interconnected pieces before and after the main stories are either outside pieces of the story or are a part of the prequel or sequels depending on how the situations connect to the main stories and how close chronologically they are to any of the other stories that make up the series.

Photographs (1982-87)

Snapshots (2002-05)

Pre-Story: (Listed Chronologically)
Regretful Lights
The Ribbon Caper
The Gag Gift
Retribution
Surf's Up
Sunburn


Main Story:
Back Again
Cruel Games

Albums (2022-25)

Collages (2054-57)

Bon Voyage

Today dad has gone off into the wider world, heading to Italy. Dream-Chan wants to go. *Sigh*

Anyway today is not only both Valentine's Day (the official name for the festivities today) and Singles Awareness Day (the unofficial name for today) I personally call Commercialized Love Day.

But it is also both the 21st day before my 20th birthday (I'm getting soooo old) and there are only 4 days to go before tutorial registration for my course subject and 2 before my elective's one. Life just passes you by.

WHOOSH!!!! 

Today I got to do something, I got to make new friends on this site. Which is a good thing the more the merrier! 

Well I better continue figuring it out.

Dream-Chan.

This week's song is Addicted- Kelly Clarkson

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me


Nexus

Today Dream-Chan did something that some (OK most) would consider silly. A storm had come in earlier, about 10 minutes after mum had asked for rain to cool things down. She got a lot of rain in response to that comment. Anyway as we went to the back door to witness the spectacle that the storm created I decided to do what could be considered unthinkable by any sane human being. I decided to go out in the rain.

It's hard to describe what it was like being out there in the thick of nature. Being one with nature and feeling it's power all around you. It was cold, but since I was feeling to hot anyways thanks to the humidity that didn't matter. Neither did the wet, my clothes ended up being soaked through.

Doing things like that renew your sense of nature and how it important it is in the balance of life.

Dream-Chan
   
These holiday's I've found that things don't always go my way. Uni is over for now and I have a lot of free time on my hands. So Dream-Chan will write out some stream of consciousness that were writen yesterday when the internet was spoiled.

I got the idea for this by reading 'Dancing on Knives' by Jenny Pausacker. I like the idea of stream of consciousness writing when we just write down whatever we are thinking or experiencing. I'll add this to my LJ later.

Listening to this song 'Awake' is calming. It relaxes me. I'll try looking it up now that the internet is working. I smell pasta. I like pasta, but I want to try different kinds.

I wonder why "nics" represent ourselves so well. Mine show my strange personality, interests and ideas. Others can tell you what kind of person the other one is. But interpreting them isn't something that I'm good at. I am what people would call obvious. Obvious to the world, people, feelings, agendas. It's a weakness.

Another weakness is my
obsessiveness. I obsess about things and become moody when it doesn't go my way. I'm selfish in that regard. I don't know when this selfishness started, but I don't think it can end just yet.

Just had dinner. Hated being interrupted just before I started eating, but I also hate being interrupted at ant other time, same old same old.

Some songs have great meaning, like that Nickelback song. I like Nova (radio station) because it plays all of the recent and popular songs. I like that. I'm a music hoarder. I collect songs. I listen to them, love them and perpetuate them. I listen songs/musicians that I normally wouldn't have. This is thanks to the internet. I love the internet yet it is a fickle thing that only listens when it chooses to at times. (it's good now but for how long?...)

Life makes you wonder. There are many different people in the world and their triumphs and tragedies are all part of large web of that encompasses all of life and all of those who live in it. I wonder what colors the web would be in. I would love to see it, yet I am not a God.

Also I've been thinking that in some ways wanting is like a disease, isn't it? You want and want until consumes you and then you become someone you don't recognize. I want, mum once wanted and almost lost what she had, dad wants and follows it no matter what it does to himself or others. Wanting can be a bad thing. It can also be a good thing however, it's just how you use it and what it's aimed at.


This summer Dream-Chan has done a lot of things. I've babysat twice with Elysia (it was the first time I had babysat before), I went on what could be termed an "Adult Holiday" and bought and tried wine for the first time. I bought several games, books, movies, and an anime DVD set with my Christmas/Birthday money.

I had Elysia over for a few days in a row around New Years Eve, we watched the fireworks on TV. It was the first time I was able to spend New Years with Elysia. I like changing habits.

Dream-Chan should apologize. I last updated at the end of October and this entry is in early February. I think that Summer laziness has gotten to me. I promise to try harder.

Recently Dream-Chan was taken to meet one of mum's once co-workers and his family. The meeting was at a restaurant that I like and I got too eat one of my favorite desserts, YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My family is definitely planning to move. I've seen them look up houses both physically and on the internet. I feel odd about it. I've lived in the house I am in for about 10 years now. It'll be hard to move now.

Dream-Chan is soon going to do something daring. Yay for me!

This should be all for now as I don't feel the need to make a long entry, just consistent ones.

Dream-Chan.

Roses for Remembrance

Dream-Chan apologises for the VERY long delay between entries. However I do have several good excuses for this.

 Firstly the weekend after the last entry I went out clubbing for the first time in a while. The reason for the outing was that it was a friend’s birthday. It was fun, we ended up going to 3 different places and I tried a new cocktail called a fruit tingle which I liked as well as finally trying a Midori Splice. I was mildly drunk for about an hour after that, but I sobered up quickly due to exercise. It was fun to dance wildly without any need to be “correct” or “right” in how you moved or who you danced with; things which were so important in high school. I bought Roses for her as a present in the final club; they had a little teddy attached to them (so cute! So soft!). She loved it. The night ended well and I slept peacefully

The week immediately after that weekend I went to Elysia’s place to stay over for 11 days as her parents had gone for a holiday. I couldn’t use the internet that much there as her download usage was low, her dad’s fault, and so I entertained myself in other ways. Interesting things that happened were:

  1. I learned of another incident of male sexism where a pregnant woman was fined over $100 for being too loud at a stop sign while she was in labour. She was so delayed that she gave birth in the hospital foyer. We were disgusted and went on about male sexist pigs. Even You-Miin agreed when Dream-Chan told her about this online. A fun exercise in venting.
  2. I had chocolate pancakes on the second day of my stay. It was very difficult to make symmetrical and good looking pancakes. They always broke. Then we realised that we had nothing to put on them so we improvised. Peanut Butter on chocolate pancakes isn’t that bad. Also had a pizza flavour that I wanted to try. It was nice, but we learned to never buy brownies from dominos (we were entranced by the clock that the website has if you order online).
  3. We watched shows such as Miami CSI and Flash Forward and I enjoyed every minute of those shows. Fun TV watching. Also had an extra for a night and tried some new chocolate. Popping Candy and chocolate = an interesting experience.
  4. A hot guy came by on the Thursday while I was at Uni. SO NOT FAIR! I want eye candy too. However after a bit of teasing and ribbing about it and a day or so Elysia thought that the guy was gay or something through the way that he talked.
  5. Dream-Chan went to the beach on the Friday with Elysia. We went via public transport, only swam for about an hour, had lunch at the fattening Maccas, went to the shopping centre (during which Elysia got a product that I want badly. Not Fair!!!!!), got lost trying to find our way to the station after we left the shopping centre (we found it eventually), and got home tired.
  6. Went and bought 2 new DVD’s of movies that I liked and wanted to watch. (Yay!)
  7. Was reminded that I do more housework at her place then my own.

Finally when I got home I found out that the internet was (and still is!) on the fritz and is not co operating with me. 

That is Dream-Chan’s long entry about the lastest 2 weeks.

 Dream-Chan.

Death & Rebirth

I really need to set a time for this or else I'll never get it done. So today Dream-Chan will write about something unusual. I will write about one of my beliefs.

What I am about to write is a theory that I developed after I realized that I believed in two contradictory things. I believed in both ghosts and reincarnation. So there had to be a reason for both I figured and after some thinking I came to this conclusion.

That when we die we leave an imprint of our current life behind. All of our emotions, memories and experiences(especially those that occurred just prior to death) become a sort of hologram of who we were in that particular life. This hologram can interact with the world directly around it which is why we get so many ghost stories, sightings, etc.

Once the imprint is made the soul then moves on in the cycle to get reborn as another thing. However the memories do still remain as the imprint of the memories in the ghost are like the black and white version of a modern scene taken with the first camera invented. The memories in the soul are like that same scene taken with the latest digital camera. It's just been buried deep due to the leaving behind of the black and white version of that life.

Make sense? Well too bad if it didn't. 

Now recently not only has it been really windy and cold, but there has also been a lot of storms recently. Dream-Chan likes storms within the safety of indoors, the lightning, the thunder it's just awesome. Even better was when it hailed. That doesn't happen often so I took full advantage of the spectacle that nature was providing me.

I'd write more but I can't be bothered as class is going to begin soon.

Dream-Chan.